[marsupial]

I remember feeling anxious during the endowment. I was worried that I was doing everything wrong, that I was going to screw up in the ceremony, etc. My mother, who was supposed to be helping me, left me hanging for most of the ceremony. Some stranger the row behind me finally took pity on me and helped.

It didn't get better the second time I went as I was met with rudeness by one of the matrons. Danimal and I had been married for just a couple of weeks. I didn't know where I was supposed to go once I got dressed because 1) it was the first time I had ever been to the Provo temple; 2) it was my first time going through for someone else and 3) it was the first time I had ever been without an escort showing me around.

I asked a temple matron where I was suppose to go next. She answered abruptly, "perhaps if you attended the temple more frequently, you would remember where you are suppose to be." I had been endowed a whopping 2 weeks! Her rudeness was surprising to me because all I ever heard was how wonderful the temple is, how it is the celestial kingdom on earth, how everyone is the same in the temple, no one is judged and how there are so many people there to help you, blah, blah blah... She made me feel stupid and defensive.

I also have issues with separating the sexes and the women covering their faces. I asked the Memphis temple president about this once when I saw him in the celestial room. He couldn't give me a good answer. If anyone has any insight, I'd love to hear it.

Getting to the temple is difficult. Temple dates suck. It is a great expense and effort to get a babysitter and then to spend the whole date on the other side of the room as your spouse unable to talk to or touch each other? It's a tough sell. I do like BlueK's perspective of it being the purest form of religion. I need to go back and take that attitude with me and see if it improves my experience.

I think it would've helped me if the covenants I was making were outlined in the temple prep class.