Quote:
Originally Posted by BigSinner
Catchy title, eh?
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The second time I met with my new bishop -- I introduced myself, and he cut to the chase, asking if there was any "reason" I needed to see him, i.e. anything to confess. I said yes and he asked me if I'd had sex outside of marriage ever. Yes. Asked whether it happened more than once. Yes. Then, he told me I was the Stake President's responsibility b/c I'm a Melchizedek Priesthood holder. Doesn't that mean he thinks I'm likely to be excommunicated??? Am I?
I would seriously appreciate candid takes on why I would be referred to the SP. (As well as what I should do?)
I really want to repent, to be good. That's why I have been trying to hammer my way back for months. I know I had a rough patch. I know I screwed up, and I wish I had some sort of ironclad faith or obedience. But, now I'm freaked out: does a referral to the Stake President automatically put me on the chopping block? Or what is the process? I don't think I've met with a SP since my mission interview.
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As a Melchizedek priesthood holder, the stake president is your priesthood authority, and therefore is the one who is authorized to make the call as to whether or not a disciplinary council needs to be held. Being referred to the stake president is somewhat of an administrative requirement, and although I would say it overall means it is more likely you will be excommunicated, it is by no means certain, and I would even be fairly certain that it is not the most likely outcome (speaking generally to the process of being referred to the SP).
If the bishop believes that a disciplinary council is a possibility, he is supposed to turn it over to the SP. The stake president will talk with you individually, consider all the relevant information, and will likely make one of three decisions.
1) To hold a stake disciplinary council. The stake disciplinary council may choose excommunication, to disfellowship, to put you on formal probation, or to exonerate you. In practice, the first two are more common.
2) To send you back to the bishop, with instructions that the bishop hold a ward-level disciplinary council. The bishop's disciplinary council cannot excommunicate you; being disfellowshipped or put on formal probation is the most likely outcome here. It can happen that the bishop's council returns with a recommendation to the SP that a stake disciplinary council be convened (IOW, they think you should be excommunicated), but in truth, this is likely very rare unless you withhold information from the SP that comes out in the bishop's DC.
3) To send you back to the bishop without instructions re: a disciplinary council. In this case, the bishop will likely give you an informal probation, and will "work with you" individually without a disciplinary council. If, as he works with you, he feels a disciplinary council might be needed/helpful, he will discuss this with the SP and proceed under his direction - i.e., back up to square 1. Otherwise, you will work with him until he feels you have made appropriate progress and
Given what you've divulged, I would guess that the SP is likely to refer it back to the bishop, but a disciplinary council is fairly likely. But like others have said, there is considerable variability in these things.
Best wishes to you.
If you'd like more information or even just some support, feel free to boardmail me. I'm pretty familiar with how these things work. I've been involved in quite a few over the years, and I've been very impressed with how the church leaders handle them. They generally take it very seriously, earnestly seek the spirit's guidance, and seem to err on the side of mercy.