19-25 year olds do lots of things they later regret. and they also do lots of things out of peer pressure. surprisingly, many people also don't believe all of the same things at 26 or 40 or 80 as they did at 19.
there are two pieces to this question:
first, why do you do something you don't believe in?
--some people really want to believe (many are told that if they are willing and work hard, they'll find their testimony on their mission)
--other wants to looks like they believe (for their parents, girlfriends, to set an example for younger siblings, etc.)
--some go out of duty (they feel, while skeptical or non-believing, that they at least owe it to [family/girlfriend/bishop/Church] to try)
--some go out of peer pressure (this is similarly to "duty" but more about fitting in or being one of the group -- than out of a perception that you owe it to somebody/something)
--some, including one roommate from my mission (who i really suspect just felt he owed it to family, but denied that), go because it's a challenge / a rite / a unique experiece, even though they don't have the faith/belief component. my roommate said he went because he and his friends made a pact to go the whole 2 years and not change one bit (i.e. not become spiritual). I would never want to be a Marine or become a hermit, go on a hunger strike or set myself on fire, but some people like challenging themselves, I guess.
--some go, because they're not paying for it: if the branch/ward/stake/mission/parents are willing to pay all of your expense (or heavily subsidize them) for 2 years -- why not? otherwise you have to get a job. lots of people in [slums of some third world country] and/or [mom's basement] would rather do this than support themselves.
I think that many, if not most, of the non-believing missionaries start out with the first one -- at least among probably many other reasons to go -- but, sometimes you're at your best and other times it's easy to forget that you once wanted to believe.
second, why do people stop believing (or acting) like a Mormon should after, at one point, they did believe and act like a Mormon should?
basically, this is just another formulation of the same old question: why do people go inactive/apostate at all -- just with higher stakes "if you already believed and served a mission, how could you go inactive/apostate?!" the potential reasons for going inactive are the same whether you're a former GA or just a high school kid.
|