[UtahDan]

Since I am well past the point where I expect perfection from the church, its leaders or the gospel as it is articulated through the church and its leaders, I really don't see that as bothering me if it happened now. Coming out of high school and early in college my world view was still that the church was true based on undeniable logical and empirical evidence and that the words and actions of at least the 12 and first presidency were the unerring will of the Lord, who was revealing it to them (probably in person) on an ongoing basis.

A significant life experience damaged the foundations of that world view and prompted me at that point to re-examine what I had formerly assumed about everything, really for the first time. This was sort of my "white salamander" experience. I spent years with one foot in stage four with periodic retreats to stage three through rigorous compartmentalization. I think (hope) that in the last 4-5 years I have taken a new turn into what I see as being a stage five approach that allows me to have my belief system remain intact through faith and through completely discarding the expectation that I can build a foundation on reason and evidences (other than those which are completely internal). With my own choices, hopes and faith as the foundation, I have not set up a spiritual house of cards that collapses when one gets yanked from the bottom. It is not as clean and simple and pure as it was when I was teenager, but that's okay.

A couple of things Fowler suggests that are true to me: (1) once the stage three scales fall off, there really is no getting re-inserted into the Matrix so to speak (2) these transitions take place over years (probably a 15 year or so journey for me) (3) the journey need not end in stage three or stage four. A sublime synthesis is possible.