It is all about expectations. For instance: I had a a non-member confide in me he was pretty pissed off that the church would not allow him to see his daughter married.
I told him, it isn't the church that is stopping you, it is your daughter. She has chosen to exclude you from the cerimony. Your expectation is that your daughter is going to do things that satisfy you. She is getting married now. If you not being able to see the ceremony is the biggest thing she chooses over you in the future now she is married, you will be lucky.
I then asked him if he believed in the LDS teachings. He said no. I said then what is it you have really missed out on. I would be a lot more worried if she wouldn't let you have an open bar at the reception.
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