On the day before he was supposed to return home, one of my former companions confessed to me that he had made out with a girl from the ward a few days earlier and asked my advice on whether he should tell the mission president. I said, "Did you cast your seed?". He told me he didn't, so I said, "Vaya con Dios".
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...You've been under attack for days, there's a soldier down, he's wounded, gangrene's setting in, 'Who's used all the penicillin?' 'Oh, Mark Paxson sir, he's got knob rot off of some tart.'" - Gareth Keenan
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