The First Annual Guardy Awards
Stunning a packed Orem High Auditorium, co-hosts Ellen Degeneres and Goatnapper kicked off the first annual Guardy Awards with their interpretive dance tribute to “Mutts with Boobs”. The star studded audience wept with joy as Ellen and Goat collapsed into each other’s loving embrace.
The winners: Ernest L. Wilkinson Memorial Award: BYU71 for his zealous defense of the honor code. Newcomer of the Year: Mrs. Funk for her dignity and grace under fire. Mullah Of all Mullahs (MOM): Tex Poster of the Year: Archaea for his creativity and variety Asshole of the Year: Rocky Balboa for his obsession with the word Joseph F. Smith Origins of Man Award: TooBlue for his scholarly work on the evils of evolution Women of the Year: (Tie) Barbara Gordon, Farrah Waters, SIRS and Marsupial Best Apostate Impersonation: SeattleUte Scholar of the Year: Solon The Real Nobel Peace Prize: Creekster Best Avatars: cougjunkie Poster We Would Like to Hear More Often: ChapelHillCoug Courage Under Fire: (Tie) Jay Santos and Woot Eliza R. Snow Defender of the Faith Award: IndyCoug (no other nominees) Best Director: Mike Waters for creating us all |
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Didn't Eliza R. Snow write a song lyric about a Heavenly Mother that somehow got past the network censors and into our hymnbooks?
So I guess I'm a progressive. |
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When I leave this frail existence, When I lay this mortal by, Father, Mother, may I meet you In your royal courts on high? Then, at length, when I’ve completed All you sent me forth to do, With your mutual approbation Let me come and dwell with you. |
Very funny Req! One slight quibble, the avatar award should go to '71.
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I should have won the avatar award because it captures the true essence of this board.
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On behalf of creationists everywhere I happily accept this award ... thank you, thank you and God bless!
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