I met a guy today who has 14 plaques
 

from Ironman finishes hanging on his wall, including 4 from Kona.

I felt like a poseur, with my silly little 7 marathons. I was hitting the guy up for advice, big time.

Did you tell him you were going to costco tonight to buy salt and eat ice cream?

I tell no one my dating secrets, he can figure it out for himself.

You should see how it feels when you're at one of those Ironman races, and they start asking you stand, until the last man standing has completed more than fifty.

Even my brother has done twelve with four at Kona. He's signed up for another next year and I didn't have the heart to tell my wife I might get into another. They are a lot of work to train for.

On one of my first centuries, I was riding with this cute girl, and asked her how many centuries she had done, and she responded only twenty but that she was behind because she gave up marathons after running fifty. I thought fifty marathons, no thank you. But her ass was sweet as a result of the work, so maybe she was on to something.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern. Do you ever ride with not-cute girls?

If your standards are low enough most any man or woman can be handsome/cute.

Would Mickey's be a higher or lower standard than Pabst?

Not if I can help it. If she's not cute, she's not riding with me. A cute ass keeps me motivated.

You would approve of my standards, even though I don't approve of ewes.

Amen. Every race I run I find a woman who looks REALLY good in her running outfit, fall in behind her, and follow her all the way to the finish.