Old School Contraception
 

So, my insurance won't cover birth control. Doesn't seem like a smart financial move, since it covers pregnancy and childbirth almost completely, but hey, whatever.

I recently stumbled across a home recipe for birth control in Pliny's Natural History (29.27.85). Feel free to try it out.

tertium genus est eodem phalangi nomine araneus lanuginosus, grandissimo capite, quo dissecto inveniri intus dicuntur vermiculi duo adalligatique mulieribus pelle cervina ante solis ortum praestare, ne concipiant

"There is also a third type of phalangium, a hairy spider with an enormous head. When this is cut open, there are said to be found inside two little worms, which, having been attached to women in deer skin before sunrise, ensure that they do not conceive."

Anyone know where I can find a tarantula?

My insurance doesn't cover birth control, either! What's up with that? How have you gotten around it, or are you just paying the uninsured price like me?

Seriously, the BYU student insurance is atrocious anyway, and the noncoverage of contraceptives is probably somebody's not so subtle statement against them.

One word: Trojan. No bitchy side effects and it makes for an easy clean up.

Get a couple of boxes and hide them in the car and everywhere else and you're good to go for a couple of weeks.

Just pull out.

coitus interruptus is the best form to create parents.

69 is a great form of birth control.

Health insurance doesn't cover fresh fruit, vegetables, vitamin pills, natural spring water, and lots of other things.

It's called lifestyle choices. You'll be happier when you realize that, instead of complaining about it.

Spoken like a doctor.

I don't know if it's accurate to equate noncoverage of vegetables to a prescription oral contraceptive. And it's not uncommon for insurances to cover contraceptives.

Uuuuugh... I hate condoms. They're like making love to an exam glove.

Abstinence. 100% effective.

Absolutely... but now that I've tasted of the forbidden fruit, there's no going back. I'll have to seek other recourses.

I generally hate condoms as well. I would suggest you try the "natural membrane" condoms - made out of lamb intestines (or something like that). They're way better than the latex condoms as long as the gentleman can get over the mental hurdle of sporting a lamb intestine.

NOTE: I don't know what mental hurdle the lady must overcome when using natural membrane condoms but I'm willing to bet that making love to a lamb intestine is better than making love to an exam glove.

One problem with the Trojan Naturalamb is the price. A 12-pack will probably cost $30-$40.

Seeing as how y'all are newlyweds, you may pay more in Naturalamb condoms than in paying for the pill out of pocket.

You get used to them. I've tried several different pills and hated them all.

Natural lamb condoms, besides being gross, are not as effective as latex.

There's nothing wrong with the pill (at least, as far as I can tell...). I bawled like a blathering baby the first 2 months I was on it, but now that things have calmed down, I tend to be less moody while I'm on it.

Condoms, on the other hand, are just a pain. They get in the way of sensation and slide around. But maybe it's just a matter of preference.

We just pay out of pocket - it's not that expensive, maybe 30 bucks a month - and my wife was pregnant for about 15 months straight before we had the baby (she miscarried after about 4 months - no worries, though, we got pregnant about 10 days after the doc. said to try again).

I've never seen a "natural membrane" condom in the bowling alley restrooms. Where do you buy them?

Flying J restrooms.

Tell Mr. Funk to quit lying about the size and to buy the small ones that actually fit.

You're just a brat, aren't you?

I should add that our insurance does pay for abortions. I think it's only a $20 co-pay or something akin for the cheapest procedures.

Oh, so it does cover birth control then.

I've never heard of condoms "slipping around", tell me more. I'm curious as to the explanation.

Archea is demonstrating his lack of experience. Interruptus is the superior way, though messy to be sure.

I don't know. I think Archaea is right. I have a friend who was too chicken to buy condoms in Rexburg and got pregnant using this so called interruptus method.

I would think being married to SU was a great form of birth control, but it apparantly doesn't work that way.

It requires discipline on the man's part. That's why they tell teens never to do it at planned parenting centers. But if the man is disciplined, what could be more effective than CI, i.e., keeping the sperm outside? (It's not true that the initial clear discharge for lubrication can get a woman pregnant.) Moreover, the payoff for the man as well as the woman can be immense in terms of pleasure.

I can't imagine why I would want to interrupt a good cum, good sir. When there is a receptacle, you use it as it was designed.

Of course, given certain miracles of science, I don't worry about that any longer.

Even when the membrane of the condom is pulled tightly, a lubricated condom can still slide around from friction/thrusting (i.e. the sexy question, "Is it still on?").

He digs a deeper hole for himself. That's not what happens.

Okay I'm bailing out of this thread. too explicit for my tast.

Yeah I think I am bailing as well.