Leaving Kids in Hot Cars
 

I was perusing the Deseret News this morning, and noticed this story:

http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,700243158,00.html

Looks like the mom who left her infant in the car will get 18 months of probation and no jail time.

I am always interested to know what could've possibly gone through her mind when she was taking in groceries, or focusing on her MLM job (I believe that is what kind of job she had) to the point that she just completely forgot her child.

Maybe it is because I am a new parent...but I feel like I've got at least one ear listening for my daughter no matter what I am doing.

We also had a situation out here in Virginia last week where a guy forgot to take his son to daycare and left him in the car for 7 hours.

I just don't get it.

The comments after the article are interesting...particularly the "judge not" part. Anyways, interesting, and incredibly sad stuff.

Yup, it's bc you're a new parent.

I know very few of the details of the case, but as I find that the longer I live, the less judgmental I get about things people do. Example one: I remember a time when I thought anyone who had a kid over two who wasn't toilet-trained was guilty of something akin to child abuse--then had two kids who were stubborn as hell and were 3 1/2 and 4 before they'd even think about using the toilet. Example two: My wife is the most conscientious mother I know--by both my account and anyone who knows her. We were moving into a new house and in the midst of making a bunch of Home Depot runs, my wife ended up leaving our baby in the car while she ran in. She guesses she was in for about an hour, in July, in the midwest, where things tend to get really hot and humid. By some unbelievable stroke of luck, it happened to be a cool overcast day and our child stayed asleep. She still has nightmare flashbacks about that day, and how close she was to being one of these headlines. Like you, we could not have imagined how it would be possible to leave a child in a hot car like that--until she did it.

So I'm really careful about making judgments about things people do. It's almost like God sits up in heaven and waits to find ways to teach us the all-important concept "There but for the grace of God go I."

I have sympathy because we nearly avoided a tragedy. We had come home from a long outing on a summer afternoon tired and exhausted. Three kids in the car. We get them out, we all lie down to take naps in beds. I'm about to fall asleep when I ask my wife if she brought in the baby. "No I thought you did". We jump up and check and she's still in the car in her baby seat asleep.

Also another time, as newlyweds we nearly killed ourselves in the car. Pull in the garage on a cold winter night, start some nookie going, leave the car on to keep the heater running, yada yada yada, fall asleep in each other's arms, I wake up and realize the garage is filling up with CO and I can barely breathe. We run in the house laughing.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think that people are judgmental to be outraged by this story--hopefully it raises awareness and people take a little extra care. I've been too close to tragedy before, and I have a hard time deciding just how at-fault this woman is without knowing all the facts. I think the number of responses admonishing those who are judging indicates that there are many others who have been in similar circumstances.

I'm not outraged as much as I am incredulous as to how that kind of thing can happen. But, as you suggested, perhaps I will better understand with more life experience, or at least experience as a parent.

Several years ago our hometeachers were at our house and we had been chatting for a good 20 minutes when suddenly one of them says "crap!" abruptly stands up and runs out the door. He returned two minutes later with his infant son in his arms. Fortunately, it was spring and not summer. The kid had been awake and just chillin' in his carseat like it was no big deal.

So let me get this straight.

One has to be a parent in order to understand or have sympathy that being a parent is required in understanding why someone is a bad enough parent to leave their youngster in a boiling car and that understanding this kind of supposed "mental lapse" requires sympathy......if you're a parent that is.

So do all parents relate to this kind of child abuse or is it a unique phenomenon?

shame based

How many kids you got?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So one has to have kids to be sympathetic and think it's not neglectful and abusive to leave a toddler in a boiling car?