Movie Quotes
 

How about starting a thread with the best lines from movies. I will start with 2 lines from the classic 'A Mighty Wind.'

"We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain that we share between us."

"Thank [goodness] for model trains...You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains."

"Man, its a shame when people be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that."

"Better Off Dead" is a great film.

Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.

Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? YOU? YOU, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possible fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about in parties, you WANT me on that wall; you NEED me on that wall. We use words like "honor", "code", "loyalty." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Great movie. There are several other good quotes from the same.

Tough to beat "O Brother" for classic quotes. Some of my favorites:



Pete: Well I'll be a sonofabitch. Delmar's been saved.
Delmar O'Donnell: Well that's it, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting's my reward.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Delmar, what are you talking about? We've got bigger fish to fry.
Delmar O'Donnell: The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.
Ulysses Everett McGill: I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?
Delmar O'Donnell: Well I was lyin'. And the preacher says that that sin's been warshed away too. Neither God nor man's got nothin' on me now. C'mon in boys, the water is fine.

Homer Stokes: [as Grand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our women, let's not forget those ladies, y'all. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say we come descended from monkeys!

Ulysses Everett McGill: The treasure is still there boys, believe me.
Delmar O'Donnell: But how'd he know about the treasure?
Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not so surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...
Pete: He said we wouldn't get get it. He said we wouldn't get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stac-les.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well what the hell does he know, he's just an ignorant old man?

Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]
Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas.

"Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans, love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers ... Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in Hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The Bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post, don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating. Now we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know ... My God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. My God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel. Now some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you'll all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo, that a moment before was your best friends face, you'll know what to do. Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything, we'll let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly, and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose, and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time, and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose. Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home, and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, What did you do in the great World War Two? You won't have to say, Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana. Alright now, you sons of bitches, you know how I feel. I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere. That's all."

Patton. What a great film.

This thread needs some Kevin Smith movie quotes, so here they are...

Clerks
You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

Mallrats

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But, the next week, he did it again--difference cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And, I says to him, "Jesus, Walt, what are you doing?! You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass, too." And, he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"


Chasing Amy

It's like my grandma always said... 'The real money's in the dick and fart jokes.' She was a church lady.


Dogma

Loki:You got to read at Sodom and Gomorrah. I had to do all the work.Bartleby:What work did you do? You lit a few fires.Loki:I rained down sulfur, man. There's a subtle difference.Bartleby:Oh, okay, I'm sure.Loki:Hey, you know, fu** you man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulfur is like an endurance trial. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in . . . next to soccer.


Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Sherriff: Are you f****** crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.

Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-f****** Brady Bunch go.

Whillenholly: It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... F***beans. That was them, wasn't it?

Martin Q. Blank: Don't you think that maybe you're just upset because I told you what I do for a living, and you got upset and *you're* letting it interfere with *our* dynamic?
Dr. Oatman: Whoa. Martin. You didn't tell me what you did for a living...
Martin Q. Blank: Yes, I did!
Dr. Oatman: You didn't tell me what you did for a living for *four* sessions. *Then* you told me. And I said, "I don't want to work with you any more." And yet, you come back each week at the same time. That's a difficulty for me. On top of that, if you've committed a crime or you're thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities.
Martin Q. Blank: I know the law, okay? But I don't want to be withholding; I'm very serious about this process.
[pause]
Martin Q. Blank: And I know where you live.
Dr. Oatman: Oh, now see? That wasn't a nice thing to say; that wasn't designed to make me feel good. That's a... kind of a... not too subtle intimidation, and I, uh, get filled with anxiety when you talk about something like that.
Martin Q. Blank: Come on, come on. I was just kidding, all right? The thought never crossed my mind.
Dr. Oatman: You did think of it, Martin! You thought it, and then you said it. And now, I'm left with the aftermath of that, thinking I gotta be creative in a really interesting way or Martin's gonna blow my brains out! You're holding me hostage. That's not right.

[quote=homeboy]Tough to beat "O Brother" for classic quotes. Some of my favorites:]

"Any of you boys here smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before strained circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?"

You can pretty much post that entire script. I don't think there's a more quoteable movie. Some of my favorites:

Ullyses:"Say, are any of you boys smithies? Or if not smithies per se, have you otherwise been trained in the metallurgic arts?"

Ullyses: "What is your name?"
Blind Man: "I have no name?"
Ullyses: "where are you from?"
Blind Man: "I come from nowhere"
Ullyses: "Well sir, that may be why your having trouble finding gainful employment. You see, in the market of competitive commerce..."

Delmer: "You want a gopher Everett?"
Ullyses: "No. One gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding her back down."

Excellen choice Il Pad. The only more stirring speech in movies was Bluto's rousing pep talk in Animal House. :)

"Over? Nothing is over until we decide it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" :D :D

Kenneth Brannagh (sp?) Henry V, 1989 circa.

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!

KING. What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

"Germans?"
"Don't stop him. He's on a roll."

I'm going to give the most stirring award to Archea's quote. A little more difficult to follow and get all of the subtle points but an excellent speech.

And added elsewhere but one of my top ten favorite movie scenes right along with the St. Crispian's Day speech.

CLARK
There's no problem. I was just hoping
you could give me some insight into
the evolution of the market economy in
the early colonies. My contention is
that prior to the Revolutionary War
the economic modalities especially of
the southern colonies could most aptly
be characterized as agrarian pre-
capitalist and...


WILL
Of course that's your contention.
You're a first year grad student.
You just finished some Marxian
historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, and
so naturally that's what you believe
until next month when you get to James
Lemon and get convinced that Virginia
and Pennsylvania were strongly
entrepreneurial and capitalist back in
1740. That'll last until sometime in
your second year, then you'll be in
here regurgitating Gordon Wood about
the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the
capital-forming effects of military
mobilization.

CLARK
Well, as a matter of fact, I won't,
because Wood drastically underestimates
the impact of--

WILL
--"Wood drastically underestimates the
impact of social distinctions predicated
upon wealth, especially inheriated
wealth..." You got that from "Work in
Essex County," Page 421, right? Do
you have any thoughts of your own on
the subject or were you just gonna
plagerize the whole book for me?
Look, don't try to pass yourself off
as some kind of an intellect at the
expense of my friend just to impress
these girls.
The sad thing is, in about 50 years
you might start doin' some thinkin' on
your own and by then you'll realize
there are only two certainties in life.

CLARK
Yeah? What're those?

WILL
One, don't do that. Two-- you dropped
a hundred and fifty grand on an
education you coulda' picked up for a
dollar fifty in late charges at the
Public Library.

CLARK
But I will have a degree, and you'll
be serving my kids fries at a drive
through on our way to a skiing trip.

WILL
Maybe. But at least I won't be a prick.
And if you got a problem with that, I
guess we can step outside and deal
With it that way.

I am so lowbrow:
http://www.destinationhollywood.com/...gilmore_06.jpg
Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.

The Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now, grandma.

and

Shooter McGavern: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!

and of course the best of all is the one from Billy Madison:
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

thanks for the lowbrow humor, although I think mine is certainly lower than yours, you posting that made me feel a little less out of place. :p

I love movies.

ZOE
Aw come on, just a couple of
questions -- how hard is that?

As he hits the button, wipes his fingers, hits the button
etc.

ZOE
How do you write women so well?

MELVIN
(as he turns
toward her)
I think of a man and take away
reason and accountability.

Another treasure trove of classic quotes: Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

Winger: We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A", huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts.

Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into *Wisconsin*.
Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

Ziskey: I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

Oxburger: How's it goin', Eisenhower?

Alvy Singer: Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Alvy Singer: There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist,I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Alvy Singer: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.

Alvy Singer: I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. When I was thrown out, my mother, who was an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of Mah-Jongg tiles. I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Alvy Singer: Oh my God, she's right. Why did I turn off Allison Portchnik? She was beautiful, she was willing. She was real intelligent. Is it the old Groucho Marx joke that I'm - I just don't want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member?

I was just checking out the end line specs on the rotary....girders.......I'm retarded.

bluegoose's made me start thinking of some of these...

Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?
.................................................. .....

Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
.................................................. ................

Navin R. Johnson: For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.

Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.

-A River Runs Through It

Utestar, when you first posted this the other day, I had no idea what you were talking about. And then my wife cam home with "A Mighty Wind" this weekend. I haven't laughed that much at a movie in a long time.

Why had I not heard of this one before? Did it make it to the theatres?

"A Mighty Wind' was the latest movie from Christopher Guest and crew. They are all mockumentary type movies. They have a good following but don't last real long in the movie theaters. If you A Mighty Wind is the only one you have seen from this group of movies, run to the video store and rent these two:

Best in Show--a mockumentary of the Dog competition scene:
"I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."

"[a father is trying to get his son down off the roof] I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I shit you not, you little freak! Now, will you get down here? I'm gonna punch you in the eye till it turns to jelly! I'll stab you with forks till you bleed, how bout that?

And one of my all time favorite quotes: "Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about."

After you watch 'Best in Show', rent the all time classic 'This is Spinal Tap.' This movie started it all. After you see that, rent 'Waiting for Guffman' which was the 2nd installment. So, the movies go like this in the order they were made:

1. Spinal Tap--hard rock mockumentary
2. Waiting for Guffman--community play mockumentary
3. Best in Show--dog competition mockumentary
4. A Mighty Wind--folk music mockumentary

A new one is supposed to come out in a year or so. Enjoy.

my favorite quote from waiting for guffman is when that old man is auditioning for the play with the scene from raging bull..

"Did you F*%k my wife?"

That is one of the funniest scenes in cinema history

I disagree rent Waiting for Guffman before renting Best in Show. The quality of the movies in order of best to worst. Worst still being funny.

1. Waiting for Guffman
2. This is Spinal Tap
3. Best in Show
4. A Mighty Wind

Interesting funk...my list is nearly opposite:

1. Spinal Tap
2. A Mighty Wind
3. Best in Show
4. Waiting for Guffman

But I wholeheartedly agree that even my least favorite of the 4, Waiting for Guffman, is still a terrific and very funny flick. Good stuff.

I am not sophisticated enough for Guest's humor. I don't find his movies very funny, although I can see how others may laugh.

Same here, except I did laugh some at Best in Show.

Same with "O Brother Where Art Thou"

I turned it off after 55 minutes cause I was so bored.

Blasphemy!

Barcelona
 

Ted Boynton: Positive thinking is fine in theory. But whenever I try it on a systematic basis... I end up really depressed.

-------------------------
Marta: I don't go to bed with just anyone anymore. I have to be attracted to them sexually.

-------------------------

Woman (Shootings in America): You can't say Americans are not more violent than other people.
Fred: No.
Woman (Shootings in America): All those people killed in shootings in America?
Fred: Oh, shootings, yes. But that doesn't mean Americans are more violent than other people. We're just better shots.

--------------------------

Fred: Maybe you can clarify something for me. Since I've been, you know, waiting for the fleet to show up, I've read a lot, and...
Ted: Really?
Fred: And one of the things that keeps popping up is this about "subtext." Plays, novels, songs - they all have a "subtext," which I take to mean a hidden message or import of some kind. So subtext we know. But what do you call the message or meaning that's right there on the surface, completely open and obvious? They never talk about that. What do you call what's above the subtext?
Ted: The text.
Fred: OK, that's right, but they never talk about that.