Tattoos
 

Is it in the contract of NBA players that if you are black you are required to get extensive tattoos?

Yes it is written in their contract. The funny thing is no offense to black folks but you cant see tattoos very well on them.

I think one of the easier job's would be working as a tattoo artist to an NBA player, especially someone like Carlos Boozer. It looks as if he took a 3-year old's sacrament meeting drawings to his tattoo artist.

It also appears that an essential contract clause is that the tattoo must contain at least 3 of the following: a basketball, a cartoon character, chinese characters, a cross, a reference to God, and/or children's initials.

See i am a sucker for a good neck tattoo.

I think you forgot flames. It's been my observation that athletes like to have flames drawn on their bodies. Since we're on the topic of tattoos I just want to say that nobody had cooler tats than Shay Muirbrook.

I loved Muirbrook's biohazzard tattoo. Speaking of tats, have you ever considered a lower back oval Y?

If I decided to get a tatoo, I would get one that resembled chiseled abs. Then everyone would always see me and talk about how 'cut' I was and how I had a great six pack. I would also get a cool barbed wire tatoo over my biceps. And I would get Donald Duck, in full color, on the small of my back. I would also get a tear drop just below my right eye. I would also tattoo my ear with fake tattoo earings.

No, but I have to admit there's a certain appeal to that. If I ever get a tattoo, that might just be the ticket. My favorite BYU sweatshirt says "Property of Brigham Young University" across the front of it, with the Y right beneath. Maybe I could get that whole thing put on the small of my back.

If all that fits on the small of your back you really might be single forever.

The small of her back would require that tattoo to the world's smallest, requiring a microscope.

Tattoos are called butt antlers or tramp stamps around here. Of course, nobody says that if the gal has a hot body. So just like designer clothing, if your body looks great so will a rose creeping out of the butt cheeks. Or so people who look for those sort of things tell me.

Well we're not talking about an enormous font here. It would just have to be sort of small lettering.

that would be the tackiest tattoo ever.

I recommend you wait until you are married to get a tattoo. This and letting yourself go, are best done after the groom has signed on the dotted line.

Don't listen to Mike. Get an oval Y tattoo and you could have your pick of single Cougarboarders.

Yeah, but it's kind of looking like I might try dating a yewt again. He doesn't watch fb, which makes him more tolerable than most. I'll have to see though. I figure I'll know whether or not I even want to give that one a whirl within the next...say three weeks. Shouldn't take any longer than that.

maybe in the future, instead of a tattoo at the small of the back, girls will attach little LCD televisions. That way, guys won't miss sportscenter.

I would support that.

I think if you marry a Ute the oval Y would be a great tatoo...every member a missionary...or something like that....

If I end up marrying a yewt I think it will be a necessity.

Sort of a subtle way of saying, your purpose is only utilitarian. Your presence is neccesary to populate the race and stay in good standing with El Jefe and the Church at large, and while I give my heart to you willingly, per ordinance, my ass will always belong to the BYU. You have certain privileges affiliated with your utilitarian purposes, but I testify this CosmoTrampStamp will rise with me in the first resurrection.

It could also be a reminder whenever he ain't pulling his own weight or doggin' it shall we say........

Get an oval BRM tattoo and have your pick of one Cougarboarder.
Hope you like cows.

One could do worse in life than my favorite Dietrich Devil......

I think it was already determined that the tattoo will only happen if I marry a yewt.

If you marry a Ute, you should get one for your forehead, your stomach and the small and top of your back. That way he can't deny brand recognition.

I've been trying to convince Mrs. Meanie to get a tattoo for some time now. My attempts have been about as successful as my attempts to pursuade her to get fake hooters.

Not the stomach. It would get all warped in my old age.

I am thinking carrying a child would not be real good to it either.

Stick with the CosmoStampTramp.

True, but if I were to actually go through with it and marry a yewt I'm still not sure whether or not I would want to produce offspring with him. Heaven forbid that I should produce a child that sports red and signs up for the MUSS.

You need not worry about that. No Ute is that desperate.

You're the only Utes who've read the owner instructions on women and procreation, so the likelihood of BDB finding another stray who can and should procreate is about as likely as Rocky becoming a full fledged classicist, extolling the virtues of higher and lower biblical criticisms.

Nice. :)